For guys, prolonged absence of sex is hard not just because of the desire for sexual release which is higher than that of women, but because subconsciously, men tie their masculinity to sex. Soon their confidence gets eroded with the constant rejections from their wives causing self-doubt. When self-doubt sets in, it rubs off on other areas of their lives. Hence the need for someone other than their wives to help restore their bruised ego by providing sex even though they still love and are proud of their wives.
But do you know women also eventually start feeling the same way as guys do when their husbands stop desiring them, stops asking for sex, or showing any form of affection towards them as well? That’s why they get drawn to the first guy that fills that void created by their husbands.
So before you start looking outside your home and forsaking your marital vows, try these steps:
1. Whisper sweet nothings.
It is always important to talk to your spouse. When you want sex, say so but also talk about the feelings you have. Compliment each other as often as you can, share words of affirmation whenever your spouse needs it. If they are looking sexy (i.e. sexually desirable), tell them.Share with each other the desires both of you inspire in each other. You can send a sex text (also known as sexting). Serenade each other with love songs if your vocals are on point. If you can’t sing, play a track and dedicate it to your spouse. Send a radio request if you know she will hear it. Don’t always wait till you guys are at home to whisper sweet nothings to your spouse.
SEE ALSO: Intimacy in marriage after having kids written by me for from http://blazersandbaby.com/
2. Be hands-on.
Touch as a love language is about those little physical contacts that create a sense of closeness without the commitment of sex. They include holding hands when you walk, a light peck on the cheek when your spouse comes in from the office or a hug just before they go to work.Give a massage; cuddle not only when you want to have sex but regularly. You can cuddle with your clothes on sometimes and without the clothes but try very hard to delay the desire for intercourse in those moments of physical closeness. Burst out some ‘magic mike’ moves/strip tease if you can. That way you build a longing for sex that will come more naturally the next time you are together.
3. Have date nights.
If going out to dine, going to the cinema alone or renting a hotel room will break your bank, you can have a date night at home. Fix it for a time when the kids are asleep if you don’t have a babysitter.Once in a while, turned off the TV when you are alone. Sometimes watching a movie can take away from being together. Take turns in planning Date night. Date night could be once a week or once in two weeks or even once a month. Let it not be only for birthdays and wedding anniversaries you plan a special time out.
Bring out the candles, prepare a special meal or buy take out if you prefer, sit and enjoy each other’s company. If organising it is burdensome and you know any group organising a couples timeout or get-away, sign up and join them. Maximise the opportunities you have to create special memories and moments alone with your spouse.
4. Update your sexual archives.
There is a place of mental preparedness when it comes to issues relating to sex. Once your mind is well primed, getting down to business will be much easier. Read up on all things sex and share with your spouse what you discovered. Let curiosity drive your passion.
Guys, treat her like a lady and a queen. Ladies, treat him like the king that he is. As your intimacy grows, even age won’t be able to stop you both from being sexually intimate.
