Showing posts with label From me to you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label From me to you. Show all posts

Monday, September 26, 2022

It has been ages since I used this blog to write anything. This doesn't mean I haven't been writing. But rather, I have been writing using other platforms like Connect Nigeria and my website which is currently down. I have also been working on content marketing on my Instagram page (annkite0) and for the page of a religious organisation I was managing for over three years. 

                                     

I just happened to remember this page today including the challenges that made blogging here discouraging. I also remembered the reason I started blogging too. What started out of a sheer need to express myself died under the pressure of trying to keep up with the status quo of what was expected of me. Also, with alternative platforms where the pressure was not entirely mine to bear, the need drive to sustain this platform faltered. 

But one thing is still certain. I love writing and I will continue to use it as a means to express myself and the things I care about. I look forward to sharing as many topics as come to mind right here in the coming months. Let's go back to this being my secret hideaway where I can be free to express myself regards of who cares to hear what I have to say or if they get offended by my opinion. 

Here is a picture of me as at September 2022:

Until next time, ciao. 




Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Happy New Year!

Well, I guess the year is far gone for 'Welcome to 2019' But whatever season you are in, I welcome you to a new phase of life. Life is only what we make of it. we may have many plans but ultimately, it is the things we work on that will bear fruits. So don't be busy, be productive. sure the steam will run out in a few weeks or months time, but it is up to you to refuel your fire and keep the passion to achieve burning.

In January when I started writing this post, I wrote this paragraph to cover February 2019 elections in Nigeria: "We are entering a quintessential time in the history of Nigeria as we fall upon yet another 'June 12th' moment. Will democracy yield the best result for us as Nigerians? Will the vast Majority rally around a candidate that holds the most promise to cause a change in our current story? Everyone is asking, who do we vote? Will our votes count? In all these, I want to say, let's seek peace above all else. Don't lose your head or relationships because of political inclinations. Let's be of one mind on what we want and nothing will be impossible for us. Shun ethnic and religious bias in your decision process and vote according to your beliefs and conscience. Let's agree to disagree."

That aside, we are in March. and on March 3rd, the International Wildlife Day, we addressed a very important issue in our history as human beings. Below is an article I wrote for my Connect Nigeria travel column:  

International Wildlife Day
One beautiful part of tourism is taking time out from our world to have a peek at Nature. We long to see animals in their habitat and how they interact. It reminds us of how special the world is.
That is why on March 3rd 1973, the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) took a stand on issues relating to protecting endangered species worldwide. They made their plans tangible on the 20th of December 2013 when March 3rd was declared as the International Wildlife Day. The aim was to raise awareness of the world’s animals and plants.
March 3rd was the day of the Convention on International Trade of Endangered species (CITES) of Fauna and Flora before it became International Wildlife Day. It was the set aside in 1973 to make sure international trade does not threaten the survival of wildlife.
Since 2013, UNGA has given March 3rd themes to direct the focus of the celebration of wildlife. In 2015, the focus was on crimes against wildlife; 2016, it was the future of elephants in our hands. While in 2017, the focus was on enlisting the youths in the cause by encouraging them to take responsibility for environmental and wildlife conservation. Last year, the focus was on saving predatory big cats - like lion, leopards, tigers,  - which have become endangered worldwide.
This year, the focus is on Marine life. The theme for the International Wildlife Day 2019 is Life below water: for people and planet. Our coastal areas and its biodiversity have provided humanity with livelihood over the years, contributing to GDPs and enriching lives. There is so much our marine life can offer us. However, marine life is being threatened by humans. Threats range from bleaching of coral reefs and plastic/metals/faecal coliforms/industrial waste pollution to deforestation, urbanisation, poaching, etc.
In Nigeria, rather than be enthralled by or revere marine life, the appeal for the exotic has put many sea creatures on the menu. Also, the fear of the unknown has led to the death of many unique species. E.g. The West African Manatee killed in 2016 at Badagry by people lacking in knowledge on aquatic biodiversity. It’s only crime was being an unidentifiable sea creature. But that isn’t the only case. In 2014, there was a report of Nigerians killing an unidentified sea creature (which looked like a white Humpback whale) found at Eleko beach in Lagos state for food.
Other sea creatures that have been killed on Nigerians shores include a Dolphin, Stingray, Shark, Turtles and Tortoises, etc. Humpback Whales were killed In Ilaje and Ese-Odo, Ondo State and In Brass, Bayelsa For Food in July last year. In January this year, the video of an endangered species, Leatherback Turtle, found at Okpoama Beach in Bayelsa was posted on social media showing its maltreatment while being taunted with a cutlass. This poor attitude towards marine creatures is exactly why we need to get as many Nigerians educated on how to conserve marine life and the environment.
With tourism activities, such as deep sea diving and snorkelling, becoming a thing these days and beach cleanup by tour companies as a voluntourism, there is a growing awareness of protecting Marine life. Just last month, Doyinsola Ogunye, a lawyer and conservationist, rescued a pregnant Leatherback turtle at Elegushi beach, Ikate, Lagos from desperate area boys looking to make quick money from it or mince meal of it.
Hopefully, the celebration of the 2019 International Wildlife Day will help to create an increased awareness on the need to protect the biodiversity of marine life in Nigeria and come up with sustainable development plans for marine species. You can get involved by learning about different species of marine life, the challenges they face and how to help them. Then share what you’ve learned on social media using the following hashtags: #LifeBelowWater, #WWD2019, #MarineSpecies #DoOneThingToday #SDG14. Let us help to make Nigeria a safe haven for the numerous Wildlife within our Borders. Let us help to make Nigeria a safe haven for the numerous Wildlife within our Borders. 

This is a conversation that goes beyond a single day in a year. Our Zoos are lacking in variety of animals while we eat all kinds of animals as bush meat. This is a trend that must stop. If we are not helping to prevent their extinction by ensuring their numbers increase, then we should not be eating them. My heart broke as I read reports of Nigerians eating harmless creatures that balance our ecosystem. isn't it enough that their lives are under threat from global warming and all manners of pollution? It is a shame to have a Ministry for Environment or Minister of state for environment and yet have no documentation or statistics on the range of wildlife within our borders both on land and in the sea? We need to have aquatic museums where our children can visit and glimpse the life of animals under the sea and safe water activities and sports that help us Nigerians to have a healthy interaction with the creatures of the deep. 

We need to do better as a people. The world is changing, let's not become footprints in the sands washed away by the tides of time. 


Thursday, December 27, 2018

Before the year ends...

Since my last post, I have been gathering momentum to come back but life had other plans. Before the year ends, I would like to share with you a little something I worked on this year. I have a free short story called Troubled Horizon on Okadabooks and Chowilson. But I wanted to put out another collection of short stories like I did the Quilt and decided to merge them with the free story. It is a far smaller collection which I hope when printed will be cheap enough for lovers of my work to grab off me in a jiffy. While the proofreading and editing stage is taking longer than planned, I do want you to have a sneak peek of one of the stories in the New compilation which is also titled Troubled Horizon.



Today the story I will be sharing with you is from my Brittle Paper 2017 December entry that didn't make the list or winners. Someone said it was because the story was a bit sad. Although I have revised the submission to what is below, it is important that we acknowledge the fact that not everyone has a Merry Christmas. Some people lose loved ones during the season, others are so broke they can only afford a meal. A few are too sick to celebrate and poverty has a grip on so many that celebrating is a challenge. These are realities faced by Nigerians which should not be ignored by literature in a bid to change the narrative of how Africans celebrate Christmas. For the African Narrative to be complete, it must be full of robust stories showing the good, the bad and the ugly. That way we correct the danger of the single story held by the West about us.
Enough talk. Here is my story and I'd like to hear your feedback in the comment section or on the social media platform where you followed the link to this blog.

                               WATCH-NIGHT

17-year-old Ese stood in the doorway, gazing at the rays of light streaming through the window onto the neatly made bed. In the beam were dust particles; she knew she should change the sheets, but she dared not. It had been a week since someone had used the bed and she didn’t want to forget that.
Ese sighed and moved into the room. She fished through the pockets of the clothes in her father’s cupboard and found a wad of 20 naira notes in one of his trouser pockets.
This should do, she thought to herself. Then she meandered out of the house to get some breakfast items for herself and her siblings.
The day was still young. Though the sun was up, it wasn’t scorching, and the harmattan breeze was refreshing. She walked leisurely to the kiosk built into the fence of her neighbour’s house to buy what she needed. The stroll afforded her time to think. Christmas was the next day, and she still hadn’t heard from her father. She had last heard from him three days ago.
“Hey Ese, are you coming to watch our knock-out war tonight?” Ohioma interrupted her thoughts.
She had not noticed when he walked up to her. She had been waiting for Mama Kess to appear by the kiosk window and sell to her through its protective window bars. Before she could respond, Mama Kess appeared.
“Good morning ma,” they both chorused.
“Good morning my children, what do you want?”
“I want to buy six packets of knock-outs ma,” Ohioma said.
“And you?” asked Mama Kess.
“A loaf of sliced bread, three eggs, a tin of milk and 20 naira’s worth of Lipton, please.”
Mama Kess turned around and ransacked her shelves for the items needed.
“So are you coming?” Ohioma resumed.
“It depends. You know my Dad doesn’t like us being out during ‘watch-night’. Besides, it will be hard to keep an eye on my younger ones while you guys are going all out in a knock-out war.”
“Well, sometimes you need to bend the rules. Live a little,” Ohioma said, turning his back to Mama Kess’ window, a broad carefree smile etched on his face. “Give the little ones some cartoons then join us to have some fun. We will beat them Oghenero’s gang tonight. They dared us! There is no going back. It’s our street versus theirs, and the war is taking place over there.” He pointed at the main road that connected both streets.
“Won’t it cause trouble for road users?” Ese asked as Mama Kess tapped him and gave him his ammunition before collecting her money.
 “Nope. Most parents will be indoors preparing for Christmas. The streets are ours tonight!”  
Ese paid Mama Kess and collected her goods. Ohioma followed her as she headed home.
“So what say ye? You know we need the girls to cheer us on and sing our victory song. The ‘Okponyo’ go too sweet.” Ohioma chuckled.
“And what makes you think you will win?”
“Oh we know we will. We are getting mercenaries from other streets to help us ambush them.”
“Hmmm, seems you’ve got it all figured out. Anyway, as I said, if I can, I will try to be around. No promises.”
“Okay. See you later,” Ohioma said and rushed off to his house where his elder brother was impatiently waiting for him at the door.
Ese shook her head. A smile played across her lips until the sight of her house reminded her of her predicament.
Daddy promised to be home three days ago. What could have kept him? Lord, please let him be alright. 
Losing a mother was hard. The idea of losing a father barely a year later was devastating. But no, Ese refused to allow herself to think of such things.
What was her mother fond of telling her? “Ese, as you think, you become. What you declare as your reality with your mouth and in your mind will become your reality in life.” She wondered what thoughts her mother had in her last moments before the car exploded after the accident. Had those thoughts become her reality?
Eyewitnesses had claimed her mother had died instantly during the accident. They claim she was trying to avoid a pothole near the Market when a vehicle appeared in her line of sight. Although she did her best to avoid running into the family of four driving towards her, her car somersaulted three times before bursting into flames. It happened in the blink of an eye. It had been so fast that there was nothing anyone could do about it. All they got was a call on their house phone from a stranger.
Ese opened the door with the house keys in her hand and heard the TV. Her younger ones were up and watching Christmas-themed cartoons on Cartoon Network.
“Ochuko, Doro, have you brushed your teeth?”
They shook their heads.
“Oya, before I count to five, go into the bathroom and brush your teeth or else I will turn off the TV. One…”
She didn’t need to tell them twice; they knew she always carried out her threats. So they ran out to comply immediately. She went into the kitchen, made their breakfast and served them. When they were through, she ordered them to take their baths and dress up. She laid their favourite outfits on the bed for them to wear. That way, they would look ready for a celebration if they decided to go outside to play.
As soon as they were done getting dressed, the power went out.
“Awww,” they groaned, “they have taken the light.”
“Aunty Ese, can we go over to Maro’s place to play?” Ochuko, her younger brother, asked.
“Yes, you can. But promise me, no ‘long-throat’ when you get there. If your friends don’t offer you a snack or a meal, don’t beg them or cry for it. Say your sister said you should leave now and just come home. You hear me?”
“Yes Aunty Ese,” they chorused and ran out of the house excited.
With both of them out of the house, Ese could now focus on herself and also battle those scary thoughts that kept running through her mind.
The house was empty. The money she found would not be enough to get them the ingredients she needed to make party Jollof rice or fried rice. What was she to do? The last thing she wanted to do was blow all the money at once on a one-day celebration.
What would we eat tomorrow or the days after if daddy didn’t show up?
Every time the phone rang, she prayed it was her father, not a stranger calling to give them bad news. Her relief was palpable every time it turned out to be a friend or a relative calling to wish them Merry Christmas.  
The day seemed to crawl.
***
By this time typically, the family would be out shopping. Even with her mother’s death last year, her dad had tried to keep the tradition. He took them out to Kingsway supermarket to buy as many food items as possible.
The cold air conditioning in the place usually made up for the hassle of the car park. They would stroll through the aisles with their cart, window shopping the items their parents would never get them, like the pretty toys. Then they’d buy household favourites like a bucket of Ice cream, baked beans, hot dogs and big bottles of fruit juice. For clothes, they would go to the Main market downtown and walk through busy, dusty streets to the areas where the clothes merchants were.
Cries of, “Pretty girl, come, I have something for you”, “Oga wetin una dey find? I get am. Come”, “Fine, Fine, cloth here. Fine, fine cloth here”, “Cheap fine cloth dey, come and buy", and lots more would fill the air. Some traders would go as far as pulling one of them by the hand towards their shop.
During such market visits, their Father was fond of saying, “Stick close.”
Ese feared getting lost; the fear of not having any familiar face around or to depend on frightened her and compelled her to obey.
***
It was that same fear of being alone that she felt now that her dad had not shown up as planned. She couldn’t bear the thought of life without him, especially when death had already snatched their mother away.
She looked at the time; it was now 3 pm. Time for her siblings to eat lunch and have their siesta. She went to the neighbour’s house to get them.
“Oh sorry dear, your siblings fell asleep already. Let them rest; we will send them home when they wake up.” Maro’s mum said.
“They are supposed to come home for lunch before they sleep,” Ese protested.
“Don’t worry dear; they ate lunch with my kids. They are in good hands. Why not take time off and enjoy yourself? I’m sure your dad will be home before you know it.”
“Okay, thank you ma.”
Ese left and walked around her neighbourhood for a while. They lived at the father’s company’s housing estate. She saw the Ereoyakas decorating the pine tree outside their house with tinsel and Christmas lights. As she walked further down, the smell of fried chicken wafted through the air from the Talabi’s kitchen window.
When the heat from the sun became unbearable, she headed back home. Besides, seeing how others were preparing for this year’s Christmas celebration caused an ache in her heart.
“Think positive, Ese,” she told herself, “I’ve got to get my mind off this worrying. It’s not doing me any good.”
The cheers of children from different houses signalled that the electricity was back on. She smiled to herself as she hatched a plan to watch romantic Christmas movies to while away the time and quickened her pace. When she got home, she went to count the money in the house to ensure it was enough for any impending hard time.
While watching the movie, she fell asleep. It felt like a few minutes rest because, in her sleep, she could still hear the doorbell ring. She grudgingly rose up and went to answer it. Her friend May was at the door.
“Hi, I come bearing gifts,” she chirped cheerfully, “were you sleeping? You look awful.”
“Yeah, I was. Come in.”
Ese walked into the parlour leaving May to take off her slippers and close the door.
“Here, this is for you.” May handed her a nylon bag with a cooler and a small wrapped present.
Ese opened the present to see a handmade cardboard frame with a broken glass. The picture of an actor she had a crush on had been cello-taped to the glass. It was an innovation they had both come up with one day while playing adventure seekers around their school premises.
They created their local frame with pictures torn out of old magazine issues and abandoned broken glass. Ese came up with the concepts of what to put in it while May penned down any words they came up with. It also proved to be the start of a lucrative business for them both. They usually sold it to fellow schoolmates who used the frames to declare their love for their crushes. They had never thought to keep one for themselves, so it was quite sweet of May to gift it to Ese.
“This is so nice, thanks May. What’s this?” Ese brought out the cooler.
“I told my mom that your dad was late in returning from his business trip and she decided to send over some emergency Christmas food. It’s just in case he doesn’t show up in time with Christmas groceries or for you to do any Christmas shopping. Hey, have you guys heard from him since?”
“No oh. I have been so worried all morning trying to keep it all together. But I am scared May. What if he never comes back. He said he’d be back days ago and he is still not here.” Ese’s voice broke. She took a deep breath before she could continue. “Today is Christmas Eve, and my dad has not returned. I don’t know what to do, May. I’ve lost a mother, I can’t bear to lose my father too.” Ese sobbed, releasing all the tears she had held inside since morning.
May hugged Ese and let her cry it out.
“Don’t think such thoughts Ese. That’s fear talking. Let’s choose to believe that your Dad is all right. He will come home.”
After Ese had calmed down, May asked, “So what are you watching?”
“I don’t know I slept off. I’m sure the film I was watching has ended, and this is a new one.”
“And where are Ochuko and Doro?”
“They went to play with my neighbour’s children and fell asleep there.”
“I have an idea. Why not come with me? My church is having a night of hymns and carols. It’s starting at 5 pm, if we go now, we can make it in time. Your siblings are at your neighbour’s, so this is the best time to enjoy yourself. Let’s go. There will even be fireworks. It’ll be fun. It’ll take your mind off things. Come on.”
“Okay. Let me change into something better and inform the neighbours, so they don’t send my brother and sister home while I am gone.”
The service was just as fun as May said it would be. As the choir sang hymns in orchestra style, the harmonies seeped into her mind, causing her to be more relaxed. She told herself, I am going to stop worrying and trust that God is in control.
So she whispered a prayer, “Lord, by faith I choose to believe my Father is fine and he will come back home to us this night. Help me to stop worrying and just enjoy this Christmas Eve or what is left of it now. I thank you for I receive the answers to my prayer now, in Jesus name, Amen.”
And from that moment on, she enjoyed her time at the service and felt her spirits lift. When she got back, the street wars had started. With barely any street lights or lights from moving vehicles, the sparks from the knock-out wars were like stars exploding close to the earth. She watched and cheered for Ohioma’s team. He was right, their victory was guaranteed. They used video game tactics to outwit their competitors.  
The night was getting quite dark and she felt a bit tired. She left as they sang their victory song to pick up her siblings from their neighbour. When they got to their house, they saw their dad’s car in the driveway. They all squealed and raced home.
“Daddy, Daddy,” cried the younger ones.
Their father flung the door wide open and embraced his children, “Oh, I’ve missed you so,” he said. “Sorry for giving you a fright Ese, I know you worry a lot like your mother.”
“It’s okay daddy; I am just glad you are back. Christmas wouldn’t be the same without you.”
She pressed herself closer to her father as tears of joy slipped down her face. This was what she had prayed for in the service, and now, she had the best Christmas gift she could ever desire. Her family together for Christmas.
“So, I brought home some frozen chicken and a crate of drinks,” dad said.
“Yeah!” they all squealed. A little something was better than nothing right?
May’s mother’s excellent Nigerian party jollof rice would go well with the chicken and drinks to suffice for a grand Christmas meal, Ese thought.
“It might not be much but it’s the least I could do not to make Christmas a total disaster,” their father chuckled. “Oh and I got you these little trinkets for Christmas presents,” he added, bringing out a nylon bag of goodies he had hidden away behind him.
Christmas seemed to be shaping up nicely now. There was nothing a big piece of chicken wouldn’t solve.

The end.
Thanks for your time and happy new year in advance. See you in 2019!

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

7 TERRIBLE PEOPLE TO TRAVEL WITH OR MEET AT A RESORT AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM


Sometimes when we go on vacation (as seen in the picture above), we just want to be in a serene space, enjoy the scenery and feel like a million bucks. Note: This article is NOT about the people I've met during our family vacations. I guess you can say we've been lucky not to run into anyone that fits the categories below.
For some people, their vacations do not always go according to plan because there are always a set of persons who indirectly affect your pleasurable trip. Whether it is at your final destination or on your way there, these people are sure to mar your vacation experience. 
They are:
1. Unsupervised kids - I get it, parenting is hard and even parents need a break from their children on a vacay. But having screaming children stuck with you on a long ride from Calabar to Afi Mountain or running around the Omu resort unchecked is just awful. It is frustrating to other guests when it seems the parents are oblivious to the nuisance their children create for others. If you can; intervene. You can call the parent’s attention to it or engage/caution the children if they will listen.
2. Loud angry guests - Bad service is hard to ignore and some establishments lack a standard of excellence. This type of tourists expect a lot and would do anything to get what they paid for. Sometimes rather than take customer’s complaints as valid, some staff turn a deaf ear or clap back. If you can, step in and diffuse the situation by mediating. Harsh words can be cruel, so try not to reciprocate whatever negative energy or words being thrown around. Soft words turn away wrath. If an employee got berated, call them aside and encourage them with a positive affirmation.
3. Attention seekers - These want to show off their skills, other times, it’s just who they are. They could have a loud personality or maybe they are self-centred. It’s either they are acting up or they may be inappropriately dressed like wearing bralletes with bum shorts on a Rainforest Safari. There is no point giving in to their charade, just avoid them if you can. Get away from any vicinity where they are by taking a walk or fixing an excursion trip out of the resort. If you are stuck with them on a trip to your destination, just ignore them.
4. Excessive PDA Couple - some people have no problem being touchy-feely in public. But it can get uncomfortable for others around. A little external romance is okay, like holding hands, a light peck, those are nice. But being pressed to a corner smooching in the pool while others are swimming or on Tarkwa Bay beach when families with kids are also hanging out there is too much. If you notice it is making you and others uncomfortable and also think, “Get a Room”, best to let a staff at the resort call them to order. Otherwise, excuse yourself from that vicinity.
5. Space Hoarders - there is nothing more annoying than to get to any place like Epe Resort and see a bunch of unused chairs with items on it when there is no chair for you to sit on. You could politely ask the hoarders who are keeping seats if someone is using it. Sometimes, they may just be propping their bags on the chair when the chair is actually free. But other times, they may be keeping it for people who may not show up or use it. To avoid causing trouble, you can ask the resort staff for extra seats.
6. Quarrelling companions - These people may not necessarily be shouting at each other but the shade in their conversation can be distracting especially if you are within earshot from them. Other times, it is the passive aggression they exhibit that might affect the mood of everyone around them. The key is to avoid being anywhere they are. If they are next door to you and their verbal conflict is affecting your peace of mind, lodge a complaint at the front desk so a staff of the resort can tell them to keep the noise down.
7. The photo freaks - Taking pictures is cool, but having people push you aside just to take a picture isn’t. Photo freaks don’t care who they are inconveniencing as long as they get the shots they want. They may even be oblivious to you waiting for them to move out the way to take your picture. It is particularly annoying if you are in front of a monument/structure when this happens like Kajuru Castle. If they are using a tablet that is blocking your view, politely ask them to lower their hands, let them know they are in the way. In case that doesn’t work, ask the tour guide for alternate places with a better view. If they are using a selfie stick, find a different angle where they won’t show and snap your picture. But if they are in a prime stop and taking too long with their shots, let go and photobomb them.
If you ever find yourself becoming one of these terrible of tourists, stop and reconsider how it makes those around you feel. The whole point of identifying behaviours that can ruin other people’s vacation is to learn to be considerate of others. Strive to be someone whose company is enjoyable. 
Do you have a story to share about a nuisance encountered during any of your vacation? Do share…

Friday, June 1, 2018

Upcoming New Projects... anticipate!

Whenever a writer goes silent on social media, chances are that something is being created. Or it could mean they are just lazy and too busy watching films and reading books to comment on anything. Regardless, I want to apologise to my readers for the long silence on my blog. I tried writing something in March. It was a movie review on Black Panther but then everyone was doing it and the movie kept getting bigger so I abandoned ship.

Anyway, it's a new month (June) and a great time to start something wonderful. 

During my three months hiatus, I was very busy working on several projects. I also spoke at different training sessions to people on being better writers and transforming organisational values into a culture. Sorry, there are no pictures to show for it *weeping*.



I was also privileged to anchor services with a church audience of over 300 persons. I read a 2003 poem by Carroll Sonny on The Empowered Woman during the last mother's day celebration in May. 

But as we face the end of the first half of the year, I can't help but want to share some things I have been up to with you. Here is an excerpt from my Novel, Freakshow, which is still a work in progress:

"She rushed to the bathroom, turned on the hot water. Steam filled the bathroom. It was one thing to have a recurrent nightmare but one that evolves in its storytelling, she had never seen. One that felt so real that she felt pain where she was touched. It definitely required some help in being explained. She put on all the lights in the house. Ran through her things and Patience’s CD collection looking for any Christian song to play. She found an old Don Moen CD, slotted it in, raised the volume so it could be heard everywhere in the house as it played. She left the bathroom door slightly ajar and drew the shower blinds.
When she pulled back the shower curtain, she saw the mirror fogged with steam and the words HELP ME inscribed on it. Now she was losing it. The mindless fear was gone. What she felt now was sheer panic flooding her veins. Someone was in here! Someone wrote this! She ran out of the bathroom, holding back a stifled scream. She put on her clothes. Grab a bag and head for the door. Preye turned the door handle but it wouldn’t budge. She shook it, twisting the key in all directions but the door would not open. Preye banged the door hard, hoping the neighbours would hear and come to her aid. Still nothing.
She stood in the parlour, clutching her handbag to her chest. Not sure what she should do. Don Moen’s voice coed from the speakers. Her body trembled. Preye felt someone walk behind her. She turned around and saw no one. Then she sat on the chair, pulled her leg off the floor and held it to her chest. Tears helplessly found their way to her jawline navigating through her checks. Easy now, steady your thoughts. There is electricity. Gospel music is playing. Calm yourself down, she thought.
“Nothing is happening; it is all in your head,” she said to herself.  
After a few minutes, she felt her body relax. There was nothing to fear. All she had to do was calmly go back to the door and open it. She put her legs on the ground. Before she could take a step, a hand gripped it. She looked down. She could visibly see the dead looking fingers wrapped around her ankle. Goosebumps rippled down her arms. She could hardly move, fear loomed around her like a noxious cloud. She heard it in a distant.
A shrill cry.
It tore at her vocal chords.
As the sound reached her ears, she snapped her eyes open. Brought her head back down to see more hands appear and grab both her legs. She fell face down to the ground; hitting her head so hard that she passed out.
Even in the darkness, the horror refused to end." 

I hope it made your day. To see the other things I have been working on, like my Tourism Column at the Connect Nigeria Info Portal, visit here.
The articles there can help you plan an amazing family vacation any time of the year. They are filled with the latest news of who is doing what when and it can also inform you on all things travel and tourism.  

My Facebook pages have also been active for those who are interested. you can visit them too: my writers' page and my blog's page.
Meanwhile, some people have been clamouring for me to release another book soon. but all great things take time. So quenching the thirst, I put out a suspense story to whet your appetite along with another non-fiction book titled,  Parents and Children.



Don't worry, I have your best interest at heart always. If you still haven't gotten a copy of my books, The Quilt and Being Mummy and Me, I have just one question to ask you, what are you waiting for?

Thursday, November 9, 2017

4 Ways To Improve Sexual Intimacy With Your Spouse

Raising kids, dealing with work stress or the pressure to have children are just a few of the things that can kill your sexual intimacy.



For guys, prolonged absence of sex is hard not just because of the desire for sexual release which is higher than that of women, but because subconsciously, men tie their masculinity to sex. Soon their confidence gets eroded with the constant rejections from their wives causing self-doubt. When self-doubt sets in, it rubs off on other areas of their lives. Hence the need for someone other than their wives to help restore their bruised ego by providing sex even though they still love and are proud of their wives.

But do you know women also eventually start feeling the same way as guys do when their husbands stop desiring them, stops asking for sex, or showing any form of affection towards them as well? That’s why they get drawn to the first guy that fills that void created by their husbands.

So before you start looking outside your home and forsaking your marital vows, try these steps:

1. Whisper sweet nothings.

It is always important to talk to your spouse. When you want sex, say so but also talk about the feelings you have. Compliment each other as often as you can, share words of affirmation whenever your spouse needs it. If they are looking sexy (i.e. sexually desirable), tell them.

Share with each other the desires both of you inspire in each other. You can send a sex text (also known as sexting). Serenade each other with love songs if your vocals are on point. If you can’t sing, play a track and dedicate it to your spouse. Send a radio request if you know she will hear it. Don’t always wait till you guys are at home to whisper sweet nothings to your spouse.

SEE ALSO: Intimacy in marriage after having kids written by me for from http://blazersandbaby.com/




2. Be hands-on.

Touch as a love language is about those little physical contacts that create a sense of closeness without the commitment of sex. They include holding hands when you walk, a light peck on the cheek when your spouse comes in from the office or a hug just before they go to work.

Give a massage; cuddle not only when you want to have sex but regularly. You can cuddle with your clothes on sometimes and without the clothes but try very hard to delay the desire for intercourse in those moments of physical closeness. Burst out some ‘magic mike’ moves/strip tease if you can. That way you build a longing for sex that will come more naturally the next time you are together.

3. Have date nights.

If going out to dine, going to the cinema alone or renting a hotel room will break your bank, you can have a date night at home. Fix it for a time when the kids are asleep if you don’t have a babysitter.

Once in a while, turned off the TV when you are alone. Sometimes watching a movie can take away from being together. Take turns in planning Date night. Date night could be once a week or once in two weeks or even once a month. Let it not be only for birthdays and wedding anniversaries you plan a special time out.

Bring out the candles, prepare a special meal or buy take out if you prefer, sit and enjoy each other’s company. If organising it is burdensome and you know any group organising a couples timeout or get-away, sign up and join them. Maximise the opportunities you have to create special memories and moments alone with your spouse.

4. Update your sexual archives.

There is a place of mental preparedness when it comes to issues relating to sex. Once your mind is well primed, getting down to business will be much easier. Read up on all things sex and share with your spouse what you discovered. Let curiosity drive your passion.



Guys, treat her like a lady and a queen. Ladies, treat him like the king that he is. As your intimacy grows, even age won’t be able to stop you both from being sexually intimate.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Celebrating the 4th of July

Happy Independence Day America! Greetings to my ever faithful readers in the USA. As you guys celebrate the democratic birth of your nation over 240years ago, I would like to use this day to commemorate a woman who stirred in me the passion for national reformation, whose birthday happens to actually be today. Her name is Dr Joe Odumakin.
I recently did a piece on her for Connect Nigeria which will be posted soon, and I was reminded again just how blessed we are to have a humble, dedicated and vigorous woman fighting for the cause of female liberties, justice and good governance in our country. I remember the first time I heard her speak; it challenged me to start paying closer attention to National issues and how I could use my gift of writing to make a difference in Nation building. I ran up to her after the program to not only have a picture of her but to volunteer my blog to be used to spread communique on any subject she deems fit to rally behind. As with all busy people, our communication stopped after a few emails. But the seeds she sowed in my heart forced me to ask myself critical questions like, am I ready to die for the cause of a better Nigeria?
These days we have so many social media activists in Nigeria, but when push comes to shove, everyone gets tongued tied because only a few have what it takes to endure what Dr Joe has endured in the fight for a better Nigeria. Only when you are willing to fight selflessly for a cause can you truly admit that you are dedicated to that cause. So here are some nuggets of truth I picked up from her life story when I was done researching on her:
1. Own a cause - There is a lot wrong with the world we live in today. Colin Tomlin’s book, Your A-Z for Growth, mentions having a cause as one of the prerequisites for personal growth/maturity. When you commit yourself to being the solution to any of the many challenges the world faces, you become fulfilled and a master at something. You don’t have to be the one in the streets leading the protests if you can’t handle the consequences of such actions from powers that be. You can help a cause by giving your time, money or skill. Support those who are doing what you would love to do and stay committed to them. You don’t have to solve an institutional or systematic wrong alone; start little by sensitising others, building a team of people as passionate about the cause as you are and start working on doable solutions to the problems. Look around you, who can you help? Take action, and like little drops of water that make a mighty ocean, you will find yourself championing a cause.
2. Have a stable source of income - There is a lot we would love to do to make our lives more meaningful. Like committing to an NGO or religious organisation, going on business trips or vacations abroad, getting recognition for our skills or enterprise. But all that cannot happen if we are broke. We need to be financially empowered to live out our dreams. To do so, you need to have the right education. Books are a powerful tool for mental transformation. So read widely, both what you like and what you don’t like for examples, history, memorandums, biographies, articles on specialist fields like medicine, computing, etc. Also, Study in the field of your interests, learn soft skills, stay hungry and be ready to work without making excuses.
3. Marry the right person - There is a school that believes no one is Mr or Mrs Right, but it's a known fact that there are factors to consider before tying yourself to any one individual in the bonds of marriage. One of which is having a spouse that supports your vision or passion. One who is willing to give you room to achieve the lofty heights you need to attain in life for your own personal fulfilment. Someone who understands what makes you tick and can help you resolve any issues or obstacles that can stand in your way of achieving your dreams. Also, make out time to treat that person special. Find their love language and reciprocate as often as you can. Nothing encourages a spouse as much as gratitude and mutual respect.
4. Have Mentors - It’s not enough to admire people from books or from a distance. You need to have physical mentors. People who will guide you in decision making, push you to give your best, throw you curve balls to overcome and stand with you both in public and private. The mentor does not necessarily need to be in your field of interest. They could be people who dared to do things by working with principles that will give you the result you need for your endeavours. People whose lives have the fruit and result you want in yours and are willing to dedicate the time to inspire you to become just that. A lot of people want to be called a coach and have people kiss up to them in their charge, but the proof of a real mentor is one who will continue to follow your progress, being actively involved even when the purpose for your union has long expired. I’m sure if I had more time, I would have said a lot more. It’s good to have someone to look up to. They may not be perfect or do things right all the time, but just being there gives you the strength to persist in your battles. Likewise, be such an inspiration to others around. As we all play our part, we will see a change in our world. Once again, Happy Birthday America and Happy Birthday Dr Josephine Obiajulu Okei-Odumakin.

It has been ages since I used this blog to write anything. This doesn't mean I haven't been writing. But rather, I have been writing...