My Birthday Dairy

Have you ever wished for a more exciting birthday than the usual alternatives of throwing a party or staying home alone? Well, that’s how my birthday journeys began. With a simple wish for a more memorable day and every year since 2008, that’s exactly what I’ve had - eventful birthdays. I've tried to document each one but somehow I keep losing my journal entries. hope this can suffice.

It all started with me planning a day to celebrate only me. No party, no refreshments for people who drop by to say hello, no cooking and total exclusion from my daily regular routine; pretty selfish right? Did my day go as planned? Nope. That morning, my younger ones prepared to grant my wish by making me my dream breakfast -breakfast (chicken and chips)in bed and arranging to get a birthday cake that I paid for. First my sister got trapped at the baker’s place by an undulating rainfall. Next my brother who was to cover up by cooking the meal fell sick. So I had to make my own breakfast. Next I wanted to go to the Benin Museum with a special guy just after I drop by my married friend’s place to say hello. First the guy declined and I had to call a friend to replace him. The friend kept promising to show up and I ended up waiting till the close of the Museum. Lonely, I tried to optimize my day by getting a cup of Mat-Ice ice cream but ended up crying in the bus on my way there because I finally had money and solitude with no one to share it with. Yeah I got happy birthday calls and texts from friends and family but all my plans had gone sky high. My ice cream got devoured by the friend who couldn’t be my date (cos he showed up after the Museum closed) while I was on the phone with other friends. On our way back to my apartment to finally eat my birthday cake, the rains that had fallen all day had been so bad that there was terrible traffic on the road and no available transport home. So we began to trek and got beaten by more rain as moving vehicles splashed dirty water on us. To cheer me up, he decided to buy me ‘Suya’ (Roasted meat) on our way to my place. When we got home I regretted my plans, hugged my younger ones and promised not to ever have such a selfish birthday plan. We ate dinner prepared by my younger ones, shared the birthday cake with my neighbors and found out the ‘Suya’ was donkey meat. How tasteless. How horrible.

The next year didn’t get any better. I lost my cousin in June/July and his burial was fixed on my birthday. I kicked and screamed of how unfair it was but in the end, I love my grieving cousins too much to not show up. That day was a black Friday. The weeping began at 5am when the body was picked up at the airport in a casket. The thought that he left Nigeria on his feet and returned in a box just caused the floodgate of tears to be undone. I couldn’t make the trip because I got lost trying to catch up with the bus. So I stayed out in the cold mourning, called my fiance and chatted for an hour like my birthday celebration was still on. I was tired from traveling the day before, running around in the early hours of the morning and emotionally drained by the tragedy. But could I escape to dream world? Nope. I had to help set up the house for the visitors to come and felicitate including my father who I hadn’t seen in over a year (he missed spending Christmas with us during our academic break from school). Worst part, he came sick. We went to the grave site and once his body was in the ground, the grief peaked and welled to a crescent. When we returned, we nursed our sick dad and served visitors till the need for fresh air became irresistible. So my siblings and I headed to an ATM machine, got some cash and went to a fast food joint to celebrate my birthday all dressed in black. It was the first time we got to smile that day. At night we were whisked off to a relative’s magnificent house, had a lovely dinner treatment and slept free from the worries of the day. The next day, I was back on the road to Benin where I cooked fried rice and chicken for my fiance and his best friend to compensate for not having the usual birthday celebration. That is what I remember when I think of my birthday not the actually day with the overwhelming grief.

Now the year 2010 was supposed to be the most eventful of all birthdays because this was the year I decided to get married on my birthday. The night before had been stressful physically and emotionally that my first whole meal of the day was 1am on my birthday. I woke up with ice packs on my puffy eyes (from much crying), prayed, took my bath and began making plans for the hair dresser. I got text messages and calls of double congratulations but once the wedding began, all birthday feelings vanished. I got to the church before the groom and because of that, i had a fall out with my elder brother (whose birthday, by the way, is also on that same day). Walked down the aisle to the soundtrack of Marvin Sapp’s 'Never would have made it' as the little bride dragged the page boy down the aisle to compensate for not having a little groom. With all my musical plans for the church service shelved, I wept in silence at a sense of disappointment with the service. Once it was over, my marital joy took over and I enjoyed the reception as everyone was called to celebrate not only my wedding but also my birthday. After the celebration I was without clothing at my husband’s house and had to get it from my apartment. What was meant to be an hour’s drive turned into hours as traffic built up in Ugbowo-Lagos axis due to bad roads and Road Safety’s assistance, however misguided it may have been. Hence, we spent at least three hours on transportation between Sapele road, Ugbowo and GRA hours after the wedding was long over. Once that was sorted out, we began to search for a hotel for the night. We finally settled in to rest at 11am and before we knew it, the day was over.

2011, the year of elevation, crowned our one year anniversary in marriage and once again, my birthday. Five days before my birthday, we were faced with a great tragedy. I had a miscarriage and lost our 14 week old baby. Besides the quantity of drugs I had to take daily, we had to deal with sharing the disheartening news with family, friends and church members. The week was one of the hardest I’ve had to go through but when I thought of how special this birthday was, I prepared my mind to be happy and celebrate it no matter what. Did I do just that? Oh yeah. That morning, my first gift was a frame and a birthday card from my husband. Though I had no anniversary gift for him, I planned we eat out all day, take a picture to commemorate our anniversary and share cakes with my co-workers in my office as my birthday treat for them. Being a Sunday, our senior pastor called us out, the church prayed for us and people came to wish me a happy birthday and anniversary. My husband embarrassed me with the A-Z of his feelings for me in front of the entire church and I felt so special. When we got home, my unit members gave me a surprise visit with a birthday day sponge cake and I felt twice as special. We all took pictures before they left and later on, my husband and I went to a photo-studio to capture our special day. I made him buy me a Snickers chocolate Ice cream bowl which we ate after our dinner with our chocolate anniversary cake - specially made for us. This birthday was special because through the great personal pain I was feeling, I could still smile and celebrate life. This seems to actually be the best and most purposefully eventful birthday I’ve had since I wished for special birthdays.

So my 2012 birthday has come and gone. It was nothing spectacular like my previous weird birthdays. My hubby was not on leave so i spent the morning going through various social media to find out who had wished me well. By noon, hubby came back from work, got a workman to install our newly bought washing machine and i ended up doing laundry in the guise of testing the machine. My little bro came over with a DVD of Young Justice superheroes season 1 which i had asked for 3 weeks earlier. Then by 4pm, he left while we were off to the photo studio and out for dinner. When we got home, we watched our wedding videos (trad and white) till hubby fell asleep. I guess my streak of unusual weird birthdays are over. Oh well, lets see what next year brings.

The better my memory, the more this dairy will increase in depth. I know its long but these entries are made only once a year. Bear with me as I journey through life and leave hallmarks of such trips through my birthday dairy.