#bringbackourgirls

So I know I have been really quiet this period and a lot of my readers have been checking in on me to see if I have written anything new. Really sorry about my silence. I lost my dad on April 16th, two days after the first Nyanya-Abuja bomb blast (you know the same motor part was bombed twice, with barely a week’s interval, right?) and the very day the Chibok girls were abducted. Loaded with grief for both my nation and personally, I found it hard to collect my thoughts into a coherent meaningful string of words that would say what needed to be said. In my grief I lost all hope but I’m thankful for twitter that allowed me express my pain publicly but still in anonymity.

By the time I had come to terms with my grief, the Nigerian women had decided enough is enough of the government’s nonchalant attitude towards the abduction especially with rumours of the girls being sold off as sex slaves, beaten and being raped repeatedly (link to youtube video of escaped girls recounting their ordeal). Nigerians were enraged because for years we’ve cried for an end to the attacks in the North-Eastern part of the Nation by Boko Haram as we lost churches, police stations, security personnel and families to senseless violence. Somehow all our prayers got answered and the international community was moved to act (with not only the 1.3million retweets for the #bringbackourgirls campaign but also the introduction of technology, intelligence and armed forces). Word has it that the masterminds of the Nyaya bomb blast had been apprehended by the Nigerian army with help from US Special forces. For more on the whole story, follow news agencies. My objective with this post and others to follow is to explain as an inside source what Nigerians are feeling based on the numerous pro and against GEJ information circulating around.

It goes without saying that this can’t be entirely done in one blog piece but I’ll try. First of all, you all know I am pro GEJ, not only because I voted him in but because for once I wanted to say I believe in my government despite their short comings. I applaud the transformation agenda but on the Boko Haram terrorism, just like many Nigerians, I have not been pleased. Before the protests, I spoke to a family member who was in the Nigerian military and what he told me about the plight of our armed forces in the North broke my heart. Tales of how emotionally drained and physically malnourished they were and how greed had caused their superiors to deprive them basic things like brand new uniforms (to cut cost old uniforms of deceased officers were being recycled) and high tech ammunition/arms (old poorly maintained AK-47 was being used by our military to fight radicals with brand new automatic rifles). So rather than say anything, i kept quiet and urged people to pray for Nigeria because the issues on ground involved God stepping in to bring deliverance. This i did through my facebook blog page.

I'm out of time now, the next time i'll tell you more about what led to this campaign and how Nigerians feel let down by their government despite all they've done to improve our nation and bring in foreign investment/attention with their transformation agenda and as seen in the World Economic Forum that still held last week.

5 WEIGHT LOSS CHEAT CODES

Losing weight with a hectic schedule and no gym time can be a bit of a hassle. After a hard day, we all just want to kick up our heels, flop on our sofas, relax and watch a good movie or TV program before sleep takes over. With early office resumption hours, it’s tough to fit in exercise routines into or mornings without encroaching on our much needed sleeping hours.

Under these circumstances, how does one actively work on losing weight? Easy! I call it, ‘cheat codes’. These methods are a cheat because they help you lose weight without feeling like you are working hard at it.

1. Breathing Exercises – These help your core and stomach muscles, that’s why even when working out, you are advised to not hold your breath but consciously work on breathing in and out. Here’s one you can do at any time of the day: deeply inhale while pulling in your stomach muscles and slowing exhale without releasing the muscles. Do this ten times and repeat this set of ten three times. I’m told this is a yoga technique.

2. Staying Active – Take time out to walk for seemingly long distances. When you get used to a particular distance, increase it. Brisk walk for at least 10mins daily covering at least one mile (1,604m) and watch the calories burn off. The faster your pace, the more calories you’ll burn. You can dance every chance you get, even if it means moving your body’s weight to musical rhythm from one foot to the other. Even when you are working on your computer, reading a book or watching TV, try to move your body by standing up occasionally, tapping your feet, doing leg crunches, pull ups, etc. and burn off the fat that would have accumulated from being stationary for too long a time. Any activity that increases your heart rate will help your body use up excess calories faster because your body’s metabolism increases as well.

3. Eating Right – The trick is to eat less foods with have high calories. You don’t need to stick to a three meals a day plan, learn to snack in-between meals on fruits and healthy snacks like plantain or sweet potato chips or nuts like walnut, cashew nut, etc. Cut down on processed, frozen and canned foods. Eat more home-made meals. Also you need to eat the right portions of food e.g. cut down your carbs intake (by carbs, I’m referring to carbohydrate-based meals like white bread, pastries, etc). Try eating your dinner before 8pm and snack whenever you get hungry afterwards. Sometimes what you think is a hunger pang might just be your body’s way of asking for water so be sure to drink water first before opting for a snack. Remember the saying, “Eat like a King in the morning, a Prince in the afternoon and a Pauper at night”? Well, it simply means eat your heaviest meals (like beans and akamu) in the morning and your lightest meals at night. This will prevent your body converting undigested meals into useless fats stored in your under arm, buttocks, abdomen, thighs, etc. This plan is to help you avoid over-eating the wrong foods.

4. Ambient Temperature Variation – When your body can’t keep up with the change in temperature outside your skin, it does two things: 1.Generates heat to keep warm or 2.Releases sweat to keep cool. How does this help you lose weight? Simple. When you work out in a hot room, you tend to sweat more because your body circulates more blood and the liquid portion of the blood gets sent to the sweat glands as a means of transferring internal heat out through sweat which becomes a container of heat that evaporates at the skin surface and cools the body. This translates into weight loss because you lose your water weight. The down side of this is your blood plasma volume reduces causing dehydration and it needs to be replaced by more in-take of water and electrolytes. A more effective weight loss with temperature variation is staying in a cold environment. Here’s why. With a cooler atmosphere, your body works harder using up body fats to produce heat to keep you warm. But be careful not to make this a habit because after a while, your body can adapt or stabilize and by then there won’t be any weight loss no matter how long you stay in that cold place.

5. Drink Water – So we can’t do without water, but how does this help us lose weight? Many ways. Drinking water can help you feel full and reduce your food consumption hence less calories eaten especially if you take it before after and during meals. Even drinking cold water can increase your energy expenditure rate because your body will work hard to warm the water as it goes into your system. The effect of this elevated metabolism shows up 10mins after drinking the cold water and peaks 30-40mins later. For water to be an effective weight loss tool, cut down salt/sodium intake as this tends to make your body retain water rather than release it through sweat or urination. Water lubricates joints which enable you exercise easily and helps to maintain muscle tone by assisting the muscles contract properly while exercising.

There are other cheat codes for losing weight but you must know that the results from using cheat codes are never instantaneous. So while they may seem like quick fixes, they actually aren’t, get ready for the long haul. They require consistency over a long period of time to yield results but rest assured that they do produce the much needed results. The easiest cheat method is simply having an active lifestyle and eating healthy always.

How to get a copy of My Fiction Book, The Quilt

Post by Life, Love and Anything Goes.

How to get a copy of My Book, The Quilt

Yes, you still need an android device to download the app but once you do, all you have to do is sign up to create an account to store any book you download from their store on the app. To pay for my book and any other book on the app, simply go to any GTB or Zenith Bank branch and pay in a small sum of money to OKADABOOKS LTD (Account nos. 0136442977 and 1013546499 respectively) and enjoy your ability to buy more than just my book from the site. Don't forget to include the email you registered with when you signed up for the okadabooks app under Remarks (for interbank transfer like Paypal/PAGA/Online banking with Nigerian bank accounts) to make sure your okadabooks account gets credited.

Still not interested in getting the ecopy of The Quilt in epub version? No biggie. Just share this info with anyone interested in reading digital books. then you can inbox me your email address on facebook so i can add you to my mailing list and give you updates on the contents of the book and when the book will be available in Paper back.

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6 COMMON MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN MARRIAGE

Marriage is meant to be a lifelong institution which one should only remove oneself from by being dead or divorced (due to infidelity or cruelty of an unrepentant partner). Yet it’s amazing how many young people seem unprepared for the hard work it takes to maintain one’s marital home. Hence when they marry, they find themselves making poor decisions because the lacked the basic understanding of what marriage is about and why they chose to get married to that particular person. Rather than playing the blame game, let’s identify some areas in which women who have faulty marital foundation tend to make mistakes and proffer some solutions worth trying.

1. The ‘Babe’ syndrome – Some women get so comfortable with crossing the hurdle of having a partner (who swore to love them for life despite the changes in life) that they feel they don’t need to try too hard to keep their men. Ask yourself, when you were a hot single lady, what were the things you did that attracted the man of your dreams to you? Are you still doing them? Many make excuses that having kids makes it hard for them to pamper themselves or splurge on themselves so they become lazy in the beauty and health department and lose their figure.
Solution:- To remain a ‘babe’ in spite of the aging process, maintain those positive attributes you had while single that drew your spouse to you. A friend of mine calls it, strengthening your strengths. Take time out to ‘work out’, dress well (even if you are at home all day) and look good. As a mother, find that balance between being a mother to your kids and a wife to your spouse and ensure both of their needs are met even if it means foregoing some chores. Make yourself happy; don’t put the burden of your happiness on your spouse. Before you met him, you were responsible for your happiness and you need to continue to do so.

2. Accepting the ‘weaker vessel’ syndrome – Women are in no way inferior to men so suddenly abandoning your career drive or self improvement ventures because you got married is as good as saying, you need to be redundant for your husband to feel in control. Even if your spouse asserts his dominance by refusing your ability to ascend mentally, either by furthering your education or pursuing a career, that is still no reason to become laid back to the point of mental incompatibility with your mate.
Solution:- Build yourself up by reading books, engaging in informative discussions, hang around people who are constantly in pursuit of knowledge and watch relevant TV programs that will encourage you to be objective about issues. Men are logical beings so you need to appeal to their sense of logic by being armed with quality information, this will make you an indispensable asset to them.

3. Fighting the Mother In-law – Not all mother in-laws are evil, even the ones with the best intentions can sometimes get on your nerve and that can cause dissension. Sometimes, difference in upbringing preferences especially during ‘Omugwo’ (the three months after delivery when your mom in-law comes over) can cause your husband to feel like he needs to take sides for peace to reign. This in no way helps the unity and harmony needed in home.
Solution:- Treat her with respect (if not for her, you probably won’t have your hubby), honour her even if she doesn’t like you and apply wisdom when relating with her. Never attack her verbally or physically regardless of who provoked who. Choose how you respond to her; don’t react to anything negative she does. Praise her, acknowledge her input and appreciate her knowledge. Be careful with the choice of words you use when discussing her to your husband especially if you are pointing out her flaws. Pray for her and commit your relationship with her to God.

4. Seeking to change Hubby – If you married him because of whom or what you expected him to become over time, you may be sorely disappointed. Don’t also expect that his personality or preference won’t evolve over time because it’ll shock you when it does. This is not to say you shouldn’t embrace the potential of who he can become with time. It is simply a warning about not being overly content or ambitious with the man you married. Even if he will change to become what you wish him to be, he’ll do so on his own terms, in his own time and not because you want him to be.
Solution:- Be patient with your spouse. Make sure you have the right perception of him and be willing to evolve with him however form the evolution might take. Make sure you have the right perception of him and be willing to be content with your man’s present state while aspiring for him to be more. Gently nudge him in the direction you wish him to go, make suggestions and watch him make the choice to listen to do what you said on his own.

5. Punishing Hubby with sexual abstinence – Most men love sex so much, they would have it every day if possible except when they are tired, hurt, hungry, or scared of rejection or poor performance. If you weren’t ready for regular sex, why did you get married? Didn’t you know it was part of the vows you took to endow him with your body? There are many reasons why ladies refuse to have sex with their spouses, it could be they are angry with him, having hormonal issues, are tired mentally or physically, don’t find themselves worthy of his love, are sexually unsatisfied with the whole sex experience or are scared that the way he was in bed wasn’t what they were normally used to and it could probably be because of something he isn’t telling them.
Solution:- Rather than deny him sex, talk to him about whatever it is that is holding you back. If you have unresolved issues and makeup sex doesn’t work for you, spend time with him resolving and put your mind back in the right frame for your body to respond to him. Understand that sex for a man is sometimes more than just intimacy with you or pleasure for him; it could be a way of reassuring himself that he’s not a failure (especially if he feels defeated in any sphere of his life) or comforting himself when he feels down. If you are tired, try communicating it with him and promise to give him a treat soon, make sure you are the one who initiates sex after turning him down.

6. Comparing your spouse with others – Some women have the challenge of comparing their husbands with their ex either in financial, sexual or other matters. Some point to other husbands and families and say, “See what your mates are doing. You dey here dey slack.” This ought not to be. What is good for the goose may not be good for the gander. While you think you might be challenging him to take on more responsibility, you are actually destroying his ego, attacking his identity, disrespecting him or under-appreciating all the good things he does for you.
Solution:- If you like something that someone else is doing, rather than pointing fingers, you can make it a suggestion, “honey why don’t you try doing this and this every once in a while, I’ll really appreciate it.” Try to understand your men’s strengths and weaknesses, his style of communication and his personality then relate to him on that basis. If you won’t like to feel inadequate as a person, don’t do same to your hubby by comparing with someone else.

Now you know, be wiser in your approach to marriage.

Teenagers and Money

I wrote this piece for a magazine that was exclusively printed for a select few. So enjoy:

Being young is fun especially if you are lucky enough to have uncles and aunties who give you money whenever they come to visit or if your parents give you an allowance regularly. It is important however to start learning financial accountability; not because your parents expect you to but because it makes you know how every kobo received was spent. So here are a few tips to help you make the most of the money you receive:-

 Give 10% to God. One good way to ensure your money never runs dry is by paying your tithe. A tithe is a spiritual act that tells God you are grateful that He gave you the money in the first place. It’s the first thing you should do when you get an allowance; it motivates God to give you much more.

 Write down ALL transactions. It’s important to write down not only how much money you received and when but also what you spent it on, how much it was and when you spent it. This way you’ll have a record of all your spending decisions and be better able to improve how you spend.

 Be a smart shopper. Moms are the best buddies when it comes to buying things at least expensive prices so tag along whenever your mom goes shopping or offer to assist her buy things like recharge cards, grocery etc. That way you’ll know how much things cost and where you can get the best deal for your money’s worth.

 Invest. Another way to make sure you never run out of money is to look for opportunities that increase the money you have. Buy something you can sell that you know your classmates will want to pay for e.g. Pencils or erasers or even biros. Tell them about it and make sure you collect the money before giving them the goods.

 Save, save, save. Whenever you receive money, always put aside an amount you won’t touch until absolutely necessary. You could save up for a project like tickets to the cinema once a month. Don’t carry around all the money you have because you’ll be tempted to spend it all at once. Break up your money into bits and promise yourself you won’t spend more than a particular amount. That way the day you aren’t given an allowance, you can actually have some money to fall back on (your savings).

There’s so much to learn when it comes to handling money. Many adults are still learning about it, so go easy on yourself, one day you’ll get it right. It takes great practise to become great with money but once you do, you can handle any monetary twists and turns.

Celebrities and their headgears

Hats and face caps are part of our casual fashion wardrobe. There are so many types of them out there but can you tell the difference?

I’ll name a few celebrities that can help you identify the trendy hats and face caps that you can rock with your casual outfits. You ready? Let’s go:

Lil wayne and P-square – flat brimmed baseball cap (worn snap-back)

Chris Brown and Mo'Cheddah – flat brimmed baseball cap

Paul I.K. Dairo and Brad Pitt – Newsboy cap

Ruggedman and David Beckham – Beanies

Sean Connery and Angelina Jolie – Panama hat

Bez and Bruno Mars - Fedora with rolled up brim

Goodluck Ebele Jonathan and Indiana Jones – classic Fedora

Adams Oshiomole and Rihanna – Military style cap for the Army.

Now you know, choose the one that best suits you and go do your thing!

VALENTINES DAY CELEBRATION ALL AROUND THE WORLD!

Don’t you just love holidays? From all the goodies of Christmas, we are right back to another mega season of worldwide celebration, the celebration of love (popularly known as Valentine). As a Christian, showing and celebrating love is or should be our daily lifestyle but generally, love is the reason behind every celebration in any year. But the world has chosen Feb. 14th as the perfect time to do this because of the sacrifice of martyr St. Valentines, a priest in Rome who suffered martyrdom about AD 269. But let’s not bore ourselves with his story; I’m sure you’ll be hearing about it all over the radio that day. I’m more interested in how its celebrated all over the world. Now let’s globe trot and see how it’s done around the world.

In Europe particularly in Norfolk, a character called 'Jack' Valentine knocks on the rear door of houses leaving sweets and presents for children. While in Finland Valentine's Day is called Ystävänpäivä which translates into "Friend's day". As the name indicates, this day is more about remembering all your friends, not only your loved ones. The same goes for Valentine's Day in Guatemala, which is known as "Día del Amor y la Amistad" (Day of Love and Friendship) where people do "acts of appreciation" for their friends. In some places St. Valentine marks the beginning of spring. For instance in Slovenia, Valentine's Day has been celebrated as the day when the first works in the vineyards and on the fields commence. Also in Asia particularly in Japan, it has become an obligation for many women to give chocolates to all male co-workers. This is known as giri-choko. Friends, especially girls, may exchange chocolate referred to as tomo-choko; from tomo meaning "friend". The men are expected to return the favour to those who gave them chocolate on March 14 which is called "White Day". Originally, the return gift was supposed to be white chocolate or marshmallows; however, lingerie and jewelry have become common gifts.

In China, the common situation is the man gives chocolate, flowers or both to the woman that he loves. In South Korea, women give chocolate to men on February 14, and men give non-chocolate candy to women on March 14. On April 14 (Black Day), those who did not receive anything on the 14th of Feb or March, go to a Chinese restaurant to eat black noodles and "mourn" their single life. Poor we *sniff sniff*. Anyway, can u believe that Valentine's Day is currently celebrated in Iran despite some restrictions made by government? Young Iranian boys and girls are seen on this day going out and buying gifts and celebrating. And in Saudi Arabia in 2008, religious police banned the sale of all Valentine's Day items, telling shop workers to remove any red items, as the day is considered an un-Islamic holiday. This ban created a black market of roses and wrapping paper. Hey, you can’t stop love. Enough talk. That’s a whole lot of information don’t you think?

So how should we make this day special in Nigeria? Let’s see. I know the conventional move is to hang out in an eatery joint but come on you’ve got to be more imaginative than that. The beauty of love is it goes to extraordinary limits in its expression (like Jesus hanging on the cross for you). So try to go out of your way and do something really special that says, “I love you”. Material gifts are not the only things you can give, there could be better options. And it mustn’t be for someone you know, could be for a stranger, a homeless person better yet give at-least half of the money you would spend for the gifts, to missionaries, or for the poor. You will have the best of feelings inside you. Many people have different ways they respond to love so get to know what it is and speak their love language in a way they can understand. It doesn’t have to be expensive just look for the person’s love language and speak it!

Ps.
That day is my boo's birthday so... you don't need to know how I'll be celebrating him, that's my secret. *wink* Happy birthday b***. muah!